Unbabbled
Unbabbled
Finding Resources for Families with Judy Blake | Season 8 Episode 1
In this episode, we sit down with Judy Blake, the community outreach liaison at Innerlight Community Advocates, to discuss finding resources to support children and their families. Throughout the episode, Judy shares her personal experiences as a parent and her professional experience supporting families through her roles in a variety of Texas-based organizations. She provides both general advice applicable to families everywhere, as well as specific resources for those in the Houston area.
Innerlight Community Advocates is a community-based behavioral health agency in Houston,Texas that provides wraparound and outpatient services. Judy also is a family faculty and board member of the LoneStar LEND Program where she works with medical residents, fellows, graduate students and professionals throughout an interdisciplinary training model. Judy is the co-coordinator of the Harris County Community Resource Collaboration Group, co-chair of the IDD Public Advisory Committee, and vice chair of the Mental Health Public Advisory Committee at The Harris Center for Mental Health. She previously worked at Family-to-Family Network, a Houston non-profit that provided programs that empower families of children and young adults with disabilities.
Judy’s most cherished role is being a mother of two adult sons. Her younger son was diagnosed at a time when autism spectrum disorder was unknown to many, so she quickly became his advocate, always ensuring that he was living a meaningful life.
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Stephanie Landis (00:06):
Hello and welcome to Unbabbled, a podcast that navigates the world of special education, communication, delays and learning differences. We are your hosts, Stephanie Landis and Meredith Krimmel, and we're certified speech language pathologist who spend our days at the parish school in Houston helping children find their voices and connect with the world around them. Finding quality and helpful resources to support your family and child can be tricky. In this episode, we sit down with Judy Blake, outreach liaison at Inner Like Community Advocates to discuss resources within the Houston area and beyond. Throughout the episode, Judy shares her own personal experiences as a parent, as well as her professional experience supporting families through her roles in a variety of nonprofit advocacy based organizations. She provides both general advice, applicable to families everywhere, as well as specific resources for those here in the Houston area.
(01:41):
Welcome to UnBabbled. Today we have our guest, Judy Blake, and she is from Innerlight Community Advocates. We are so excited to talk to you today.
Judy Blake (01:48):
Thank you so much. I am elated to be here.
Stephanie Landis (01:52):
So many times families get new diagnoses or just parents in general and they become overwhelmed very quickly and it is so great to have people that you can reach out to that have resources and can steer them in the right direction. So we are really excited to get into that. But before we do, tell us a little bit about your background.
Judy Blake (02:12):
Thank you for asking. So I am the single parent of two adult sons. I cannot believe they're 33 and 30. My 30-year-old son has autism and other co-occurring disabilities. He has Tourette's Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. He is impulsive and he is an amazing young man who has worked for three years at a job and I am so proud of him. And I love that you started off with people being so overwhelmed because that's exactly what it is. No one when they're in the delivery room expects to send their child to the parish school or any other school like this. But aren't we grateful that we have schools like the Parish school?
Stephanie Landis (03:09):
Yes,
Judy Blake (03:10):
We are very, very grateful and it is overwhelming when you receive that diagnosis. So my kids are my world. I have the honor of being the community outreach liaison for like community advocates and I am formally with a phenomenal agency who sadly had to close its doors after 35 years. I was a program coordinator for Family to Family Network, a amazing organization that provided limited case management resources and support to families who had children and young adults with a disability, any kind of disability. And now my time is like community advocates along with the Lone Star Lend program. Lend actually stands for leadership education and Neurodevelopmental Disabilities. And there are lend programs all over the country. We are Lone Star Lend. We are going into our 15th year and we were the first lend in the state. There's now another one in Austin and it's a collaborative between Clear Lake, Texas Women's Baylor and Texas Children's Hospital. And we are training people to be future leaders in the field of advocacy for people with autism and other neurodevelopmental disabilities. I am on the board and the family faculty because as much as you can learn out of a book, that lived experience is priceless.
Stephanie Landis (04:52):
So it sounds like you have experience helping guide families from a young age all the way through adulthood.
Judy Blake (04:58):
I do. I do. I believe I do. And if I don't know the answer, I'm honest enough to say I'm not really sure about that. None of us can have all the answers. It's impossible. I know from my lived experience, but that doesn't mean that's going to be somebody else's. And if I don't have the answer, I'll say, let me get back to you on that. I would rather be honest enough to say, I don't know, rather than try to just give you an answer and misinformed somebody, I would never want to do that.
Stephanie Landis (05:32):
So if we're speaking to a family and most of our students and children here and our audience have kids that are in the preschool elementary range and they are now starting to feel overwhelmed, where do you suggest they start with looking for help or resources available to them? Because sometimes parents, well, nobody knows what they don't know.
Judy Blake (05:54):
That is so true and I am the queen of you Don't Know What you don't know. I think for parents of young children, support means so much because when my son Ryan was diagnosed, I really didn't know anyone. Remember this was before the internet, Al Gore was just talking about the information superhighway and some people are thinking, who's Al Gore? And I was given these thick papers and documents and all of this information and I was told about this meeting of Parents way on the West Houston side and I lived in Southwest Houston and I'd only lived here for a couple of years. So I was really a new person to Houston and it was so challenging. Finding the right support is really important. I think it's also important to make sure that you're finding your information from reliable resources. And what I mean by that is it's fine to go on social media and to go to Facebook and everywhere else that you want to go to, but keep in mind that's one person's experience, one person's perspective. I'm a very big CDC, national Institute, institutes of Health University trained research, that is my go-to place. So when I want to research something, I'm going to the Yales, the Harvards, the UCLA's, those types of universities that really do the research. So I think it's really important for new parents, get your support and know that what you hear may not always apply to your child.
(08:07):
The last chapter is not written with your child. Any doctor who tells you your child may never walk, they may never speak, they may never hold a job, they may never drive. Really, I didn't know that they had a crystal ball because if they have a crystal ball, I want that crystal ball. I say that all the time,
Stephanie Landis (08:34):
I don't have a crystal ball, it's ball, but I wish I did.
Judy Blake (08:36):
Yeah, exactly. I'd go to Sax fifth Avenue to buy the crystal ball if I could afford it and do it. And I understand that doctors and diagnosticians and clinicians, they want to set expectations for parents, but parents must have high expectations because if you don't have high expectations for your child, who is going to, no one will. And we don't know what our kids can do until we give them opportunities and we give them chances. So as far as the internet goes, there's a couple of fabulous go-to websites that I love. Texas Project First, phenomenal website. If you have a child that is in public school, it explains your rights as a parent. It was written by parents for parents and it's in both English and Spanish. That is a go-to website. Another phenomenal website, navigate Life Texas. And it's written out Texas is written out.
(09:52):
One of the many reasons I love Navigate Life Texas is because it is in probably a hundred plus languages and that's really important. Houston's the fourth largest city. So having that translation really, really important. Navigate life, Texas can tell you a lot of what you need to know. So make sure as parents that you're getting information that's credible and make sure you have that support. And if it's not the right support, go to someone else. Do not stay around toxic people who are bringing you down because that's not what you need right now. You need people who are going to encourage you, and as we said at Family to Family Network, have a vision for your child. I think what's really challenging is when you hear that word, and I didn't hear by the way the word autism, the word back then was P-D-D-N-O-S. And for those of you listening, if you don't know what that is, pervasive developmental disorder not otherwise specified. What? And it was Dr. Danny Williamson, who I believe is now retired.
Meredith Krimmel (11:09):
He is.
Judy Blake (11:09):
And it was like, what? And then when he said It's a form of autism, first thing I thought of was Rain Man, Dustin Hoffman and Tom Cruise. And I thought, well, hey, this could be profitable. Maybe when he's 21 I can take him to Vegas and count cards and we can win some money there. But when you hear the diagnosis, I cried and I'm human and I'd wipe away the tears and you cry again, we're only as happy as our least happy child.
(12:03):
And parenting is difficult as it is. And raising a child with disabilities that as I say, you can't see in a blood test or an x-ray, that's really challenging. And why is that? Because our society is ridiculously judgmental. I am really angry at that because every child deserves opportunities, every child deserves chances. And as parents, we do the best we can with what we have. But listen, I've made mistakes. I am not the perfect parent. I've always done the best I could. And that's what parents need to do. Give yourself some grace. And as I say that, do I give myself grace? Probably not
Meredith Krimmel (13:04):
Easier said than done.
Judy Blake (13:05):
That's
Meredith Krimmel (13:06):
Exactly right. Yeah, you got that right. I'm really glad you provided some websites because you mentioned finding credible sources. But when you're new to the world of disabilities or neurodevelopmental differences and learning differences, you don't really know how to find a credible source. There is so much information out there. The internet is such a wonderful thing. We can get so much information, but it can be a little overwhelming and the information isn't always FactCheck or accurate. So having a place to go to start, because like you said, you don't know what you don't know. And a lot of times I think people just don't even know where to go first other than just
Judy Blake (13:43):
Googling
Meredith Krimmel (13:44):
Where do I go first? And I think we can link those websites in our as well.
Judy Blake (13:48):
Absolutely. And like I said, anything, those are generally my go-to resources. And I think that we live in an age where if it's on the internet, oh, it must be true. And that's really challenging because that doesn't mean it's true.
Stephanie Landis (14:14):
Part of the other thing that can be so overwhelming, not only the lack of resources is the opposite. Houston is a very big city. It can be a very big place and sometimes it's hard to know even where to go. There's too many options. Do you have any recommendations on, again, finding places that fit with you and your family, but finding places and navigating all that's out there within Houston?
Judy Blake (14:44):
That's another great question. And I love Houston because I'm a city girl and I hate Houston because of the traffic and because it's so big and it can take you literally two hours to go from one end of the, if you're up in the northeast, you could probably travel through what three states in two hours in some of these areas. I think as parents, you can only do what you can do. I will be the first to tell you that with Ryan, you're going from one speech therapist to an occupational therapist, to a physical therapist, to private school, to social skills groups, and you can really make yourself crazy doing it. You really can. I think that with parents, you have got to be realistic. And what I mean when I say that is say you have two children and one has autism and one does not. If possible, try to remember about the child who does not have autism. Because I think there's that natural tendency sometimes as a parent you want to do everything possible, everything you find out about everything imaginable. But you've got to be realistic. You have to be realistic logistically, is it going to work for the family
(16:22):
Financially? Is it going to work for the family? Because if those two things don't work, it's going to impact everyone. So when it comes to finding resources, you've got do what works for your family and have to be realistic about it. I usually do feel that good people refer you to other good people. If you love your pediatrician, I can almost bet you that your pediatrician has a really good speech therapist, occupational therapist, talk to other moms. And when I say talk to other moms, not just one person, but you can ask a group, if 10 different moms loved this person, that's great, but if you only ask one person, did they love this person and they said, yeah, they were great, or if one person didn't like them and you only ask that one person, that's not to say you shouldn't try them because it's all about the connection. Who is your child going to connect with? And parents, sometimes, and this is a flaw of social media that we've gotten into, is we tend to believe everything that we read in a Facebook group, to which I say, there are some doctors that I've seen that somebody said, I would never send my child to that doctor. Gosh, I thought they were outstanding. Why? Because they connected with my child.
(18:04):
Everybody has a different experience and it has to be individualized.
Meredith Krimmel (18:11):
And I think that's one of the things that's so overwhelming about this is that we don't have the crystal ball and everyone's experience is different and every child is different and every family is different. So everyone's path might look different, but it's still the best path for them. And I think that's one of the reasons that knowing where to go and where to start is so difficult because what you need is different maybe than what I need. And we might have the same a child with the same diagnosis, but it still might not be the same needs.
Judy Blake (18:40):
Exactly. That's exactly right. And I have my go-to people, and you all know doctors, Natalie and Ken Monfort, the magnificent Monfort, the marvelous Montfort's. They are outstanding. Anybody that they recommend, I never even give it a second thought, not even a second thought. Because good people usually refer other really good people. That's good
Stephanie Landis (19:08):
Advice. One of the things that you mentioned I run into frequently working with families is that there's so many different options out there and so many different therapies and only so much time. And sometimes I'm speaking with families and they're like, well, we have to do this and we have to do this and we have to do that. And then we realize that the student is in a 60 hour a week job basically, and then the parents are now in a 70 hour a week job just trying to manage all of that. And then they have to make the difficult decision of prioritizing for I love that you said you look at your family and your balance and okay, maybe we go with this therapy at this time and we go with speech therapy and we put OT on hold until the summer, and then in the summer we'll pause this and jump back into ot. And you're right, it's such a juggle. And then you add in afternoon sports or activities or things and it can become both a struggle with time and with finances. And if you are not the person that has the answer to this question, that's okay. Is there financial support out there for families?
Judy Blake (20:20):
There is, and this is a challenging time in our country. The nonprofit sector, it is very challenging. Family to Family Network was a nonprofit for 35 years and why did we have to close our doors due to lack of grant funding? Because raising a child with disabilities is really expensive. So yes, I have a list of nonprofit organizations and they all help different therapies that your child might want. Maybe one does camps, one might do speech therapy, one might do technology. So yes, I do have a list of resources. It hasn't been updated in quite some time, but it's probably still fairly accurate. There is help out there. But I will say this, in some ways it's really a bandaid because therapy is so expensive and that's the really challenging part. But there are organizations out there that do help that can kind of get you over that hump.
(21:38):
I think that it's important to prioritize to me the course that you take with your child in their therapies, it's like no other relationship. It's like any other relationship. Excuse me. You have to pick what's most important if you're in a marriage, if you're in a friendship, this is not the hill you want to die on. You want to pick what are the two things that are really most important to you. Go with those table, the others. And something too I want to mention is that when my son had speech and occupational therapy, sure that was a couple of times a week. There was lots I could do with him at home and we made it really fun. Parents need to take an active role in that and having the speech therapist or occupational therapist do all of it, that's not the way it really should be working. You should be complimenting what they do as well. So I think you have to really realize, and I'm guilty of this as well, you cannot pour from an empty cup, pick what's most important, but your marriage is important, your other children are important, and you as a mom are important. You all work with a phenomenal woman, Renee, and she's amazing. I've only met her a couple of times and just loved her.
(23:28):
And we both come from the same thinking, resilience and grit. It is really important to raise children who can be resilient and have grit. Why is that? Life is really, really hard and complicated. And I would rather me personally have a child who their grades might just be okay, but they're happy, they're emotionally stable and they have friends. I would take that child over a child who's a plus plus brilliant off the charts, has no friends and has low self-esteem. To me, self-esteem is critical for anyone. I serve on a couple of different committees and it just breaks my heart that our kids are more depressed and more anxious than ever. Our suicide rate our, it's heartbreaking to me. I always wanted my children to know they were loved. I was proud of them and I believed in them. Them. That goes a long way.
Stephanie Landis (25:03):
Yeah, resilience is incredibly important. I agree. You mentioned that you do have a few resources for financial things. Is there somewhere that parents can go to look those up or are they also I would happy to
Judy Blake (25:16):
Email them to
Stephanie Landis (25:17):
You. Perfect. We can put some of those in the show notes
Judy Blake (25:19):
Too along with the websites.
Stephanie Landis (25:20):
Yeah, yeah, that would be
Judy Blake (25:21):
Great. And that I've mentioned. And like I said, navigate Life. Texas is wonderful. There's Texas Parent to Parent, which is another wonderful website. I will share that as well. Make sure if there's one thing that you learned from this podcast, if you have a child with autism, please make sure that your child is signed up for the interest list for the Medicaid waivers. It doesn't matter whether or not you have private insurance or not. The wait list, I'm glad we're all sitting down, is 16 to 20 years long.
Meredith Krimmel (26:00):
Oh my goodness.
Judy Blake (26:01):
And this provides for community supports.
Stephanie Landis (26:04):
See, those are the things that I didn't know. I didn't know that that was a thing and I definitely didn't know that it had a wait list like
Judy Blake (26:13):
That. Yes.
Stephanie Landis (26:13):
And then as you're a parent and you get hit with that when your child turns like 17 and you're like, oh, they're about to be an adult, I need to think about this.
Judy Blake (26:20):
Unfortunately again, you don't know what you don't know. And the second that child has that autism diagnosis, they should be signing up for these interest lists. Very, very important because then once their name comes up, parents' income is not taken into account.
Stephanie Landis (26:39):
I love that you gave the information about public schools too is because that can be a resource and it can take you a little bit further, but then there's this huge drop off from when you hit 21 to now you're on your own
Judy Blake (26:52):
Kid. Yes, that's exactly right. And you have to have a plan. My son Ryan knew when he graduated high school, he was going to do one of three things live independently, which I knew wasn't going to happen. But I told him, live independently, attend a post high school program like an HCC Vast Program or Lone Star College program or something. University of St. Thomas has a great program or he would work now. I knew from early on, he's like me, he likes to work. I went to college, graduated college. It was just never my thing. I get my satisfaction from working with others, being with others and having a paycheck. So he knew that from day one, so that when he graduated high school and he went to Bel High School, he stayed an extra year. There were a few more classes he could take and then he did a post high school year.
(27:56):
They did little internships around the city and he ended up being hired and worked for three years in a school cafeteria. And that was wonderful for him. And he has been working ever since. You can't expect a child if you never tell them and don't educate them. And if you don't have a vision for them and don't have a plan for them, they are not going to typically come up with it themselves. Some kids might, but most won't. You've got to have a plan. And if you're a parent listening to this, if you're a teacher listening to this, encourage your parents, have expectations for your child, have high expectations. I don't remember who said this, but I remember listening to it and I never forgot it. No child. And really no person ever rises to low expectations ever. But having that plan and talking to them makes a huge difference because at 21 years old, you can't expect them to. All of a sudden you snap your fingers and they're ready to go out and take on the world. It doesn't work that way. You have to prepare them. They should be involved in their school meetings at age 14. If they're in public school, they're supposed to be a part of that ARD meeting. Get them involved in their IEPs, that individualized education plan. If they're in private school, have them at the teacher conferences. Even if it's for a few minutes, what's going well? What's not going well? The importance of self-advocacy is truly important to any child's success. They have feelings and those feelings should be recognized, acknowledged, and validated.
Stephanie Landis (29:53):
So in your role now, what do you do? Most of the time
Judy Blake (29:57):
I am elated that this amazing lady sitting next to me hired me. And why do I say that? Because I'm 63 years old and some people don't see that as a plus. I do because I say I'm seasoned and I have all this experience and thank God she recognized it. I am honored to say that I am a community outreach liaison for a phenomenal agency called Community Inner Light Community Advocates. And it was interesting because I just stumbled onto them a few months ago and when she told me more about her agency, if she had told me we only take private pay and private insurance, I would've said, great, congratulations. Thank you. But when she told me that she was all about helping the underserved and people on Medicaid and Medicare and chip, I knew this was my gal. We are providing resources and support and case management in the home and in the community for people on public assistance who really need that help. I serve on a committee at the Harris Center, the ID dpac and I chair the Juvenile Justice subcommittee. We do not want our kids ending up in the juvenile justice system and people with disabilities end up in the juvenile justice system. And that is one of my goals. So I'm honored to have next me, Taylor Williamson, who is the founder of Innerlight Community Advocates and really has an unbelievable vision for her agency. Taylor,
Taylor Williamson (31:48):
Welcome Taylor. We're so glad you join here, Taylor. Thank you guys so much for having me.
Meredith Krimmel (31:53):
Tell us a little bit more about interlight Community Advocates.
Taylor Williamson (31:55):
So we are a community-based wraparound behavioral health organization. So our wraparound program is very comprehensive and there's a lot of parts to it. So we have Q mhps, which stands for Qualified Mental Health Professional, who we also refer to as case managers. They serve a few different purposes when working with families. They help connect families with community resources. So things like if a family needs that kind of financial assistance or if they need help advocating for their child on campus or applying for disability or renewing their Medicaid, they kind of serve as an advocate for clients in that way. They also do skills training with the kiddos and their families teaching better behavior management strategies within the home. And then we actually provide services ages three all the way into adulthood. So for our adult clients, we can also provide psychosocial rehabilitation, which is kind of like a specialized skills training where we're working to restore lost functioning as the result of serious mental illness, et cetera.
(33:11):
So that's what our MHPS case managers do, those three service types. And then we also have licensed therapists who are able to do individual or family counseling. We also have a therapist on staff that's able to do the more specialized therapies like EMDR and stuff. We have lc dcs that are able to do chemical dependency counseling for folks. And we actually just recently launched an A program. So we have A, B, CBA and RBT on staff and all of our staff, we have bilingual folks as well. So when I say community-based, we're able to meet with our clients anywhere out in the community that's mutually accessible and safe. So sometimes we are going out to the residents, sometimes we're coming out on the campus with the administration's permission or just anywhere else that's convenient. We kind of really try to meet people where they are.
(34:06):
That said, we do have a physical office in downtown Houston, so if people prefer that sort of office environment, we're able to accommodate that as well. But yeah, my passion and I think Judy and I really share a passion in terms of helping kids stay out of the criminal justice system. Our closest referral relationship as it stands is with Harris County Juvenile Probation. We just recently started working with Montgomery County Juvenile Probation as well. So we get kiddos often who are already in that system. And what we see so often is that that offense is a part of a much larger picture. We really try to take a strengths-based family approach to attacking mental health from all angles.
Stephanie Landis (35:07):
That's amazing. And you are so right. It really is a wraparound. And that's I think sometimes some of the feeling of being overwhelmed is if your child gets one diagnosis, whether it's dyslexia or a DHD or a learning disability, oftentimes we think, oh, it might just be one thing. And then you realize, oh, we're peeling back the onion and there is more to it and they need more support. And case managing is a full-time job for these parents to case manage their children's needs. And so having that wraparound support is fantastic.
Taylor Williamson (35:48):
Yeah, absolutely. And when we kind of look at what's happened in the public school system recently with the purge of wraparound services, it kind of makes what we do even more imperative. So like Judy was saying, we work with folks who are living at below the poverty line who qualify for Medicaid Medicare chip. That said, our thing is we just want to make care accessible to everybody. So for folks that don't qualify for those programs, we do offer self-pay rates as well that are pretty competitive with that, that you would see in a copay situation.
Stephanie Landis (36:28):
That's fantastic to know. We will definitely have a link to all of your stuff. Yeah,
Taylor Williamson (36:32):
Fantastic. Yeah, Judy has brought so much amazing knowledge and increased our ability to support families with kids that are navigating a disability. And I just feel so happy that we're able to expand out the support that we're able to provide even more. And she was gracious enough to share some of the distilled down knowledge from her years doing the work that she's been doing. And I'm more than happy. I kind of have it all in one centralized place now that I can share with you guys. Fantastic.
Judy Blake (37:13):
And again, I'm so grateful that I had this opportunity to meet you all and to share my thoughts, my story, and I will, any family can always reach out. We want to help. And just always remember that give yourself grace, believe in your child and get help when you need it because it's okay to ask for help. I did and still do many times.
Stephanie Landis (37:48):
That's fantastic. I typically ask at the end of the podcast, if you have any closing piece of information and you just already went in with it, you
Meredith Krimmel (37:56):
Must have
Stephanie Landis (37:57):
Known hit
Meredith Krimmel (37:57):
The nail on the head with that
Stephanie Landis (37:58):
One. I love that. I love that you came prepared. You were ready for it. Well, thank you both so much for joining us today. I just so helpful for parents to hear the experience and to get some quality listed out sources and references and resources for them to go to.
Meredith Krimmel (38:15):
Well, thanks so much. We appreciate it. Thank you. Thank you for listening to the UnBabbled podcast. For more information on today's episode, please see our episode description. For more information on the parish school, visit parish school.org. If you're not already, don't forget to subscribe to the UnBabbled Podcast on your app of choice. And if you like what you're hearing, be sure to leave a rating and review. A special thank you to Joanna Rissmiller and Mackey Torres for all their hard work behind the scenes. Thanks again for listening.